Ronture's Blog

Posted on: 01-26-2021 (Tuesday, January 26, 2021)View Calender

Suffering From an Attention Deficit
WARNING: This post may contain what some people call "toxic" content. You may leave this page at any time if you feel uncomfortable by such content. According to the tests I've taken, I'm very smart. I am great at problem solving, I am great at finding and fixing mistakes. My complex knowledge base is okay. I am a white male, and according to hiring statistics I have great opportunity. I go to a school without bullying. I am very grateful for how little is wrong with me and my parents have tought me well. The only major problem I face is an attention deficit, and there's just one problem with that: I don't, do, my work. I have had F's on my report card. I have been failing classes because I cannot concentrate. I have been missing assignments. The quantity of assignments is very great at times. I have been known to do something else even if I know I'm not going to make progress on the work that matters. Because of this major issue, I don't get to hang out with the other smart people and I'm stuck in standard classes. I only take two advanced class: Pre-AP Computer Programming and Algebra II. Now you may be thinking, \| Matthew, that's not so bad. It's just a little issue that can be helped through medication. I also don't like taking medications. I've taken supplements, but other than that and the time that I was on medication from 8th grade, I deny the necessary pill medication. I built almost all of this website from scratch, using a simple text editor. YES, I HAVE POTENTIAL. I just don't do the work. What's going to become of me and my work? Will I go down like Rusky Rusk with social media accounts taken down and my website be torn down? I don't want this to happen. I would prefer if I could function like an adult/child who has the motivation to get their work done. Now you may be thinking, \| Matthew, medication can get you there. So what if there's side effects? You've had a life that other people cannot have, and a life that others would kill for, so why are you complaining? I wish I could live the life I live and help others too. I don't know how I'm going to turn out one day, how my taxes are going to be calculated (and granted LOTS of people don't know), I cannot prove that God is real (and if he is, then that's a good thing for me), and I cannot predict what my mindset will turn out like when I get my electronics back. I don't know if I'm going to want to hang out on my personal laptop all day on social media or do my homework first. I don't get to hang out with smart and motivated students in their Pre-AP classes. I don't want to be known as one of them, the kids who goof off in class and don't do anything. I don't need to be like this. I don't need to live my life suffering because I don't want to do something. I can become something of myself. I can help others the way I would want to be helped. I can reply to my Compassion sponsors. I can help for the greater good. And I'm sitting here in a classroom seat doing nothing other than composing this web log post on a Tuesday noon when I'm supposed to be doing my work. Please don't feel like you need to sympathize or pity me (even though it is appreciated), because this is my issue and I believe that I can get it resolved. I don't want you (the reader) to feel guilty if you don't want to feel guilty. That's over with! If you like EDM, I recommend you listen to TheFatRat's TheRatNest April 2012. I can't prove if it's the original or not, but it's got the tracklist.

Suffering From an Attention Deficit

WARNING: This post may contain what some people call "toxic" content. You may leave this page at any time if you feel uncomfortable by such content.

According to the tests I've taken, I'm very smart. I am great at problem solving, I am great at finding and fixing mistakes. My complex knowledge base is okay. I am a white male, and according to hiring statistics I have great opportunity. I go to a school without bullying. I am very grateful for how little is wrong with me and my parents have tought me well. The only major problem I face is an attention deficit, and there's just one problem with that: I don't, do, my work.

I have had F's on my report card. I have been failing classes because I cannot concentrate. I have been missing assignments. The quantity of assignments is very great at times. I have been known to do something else even if I know I'm not going to make progress on the work that matters.

Because of this major issue, I don't get to hang out with the other smart people and I'm stuck in standard classes. I only take two advanced class: Pre-AP Computer Programming and Algebra II. Now you may be thinking,

| Matthew, that's not so bad. It's just a little issue that can be helped through medication.

I also don't like taking medications. I've taken supplements, but other than that and the time that I was on medication from 8th grade, I deny the necessary pill medication.

I built almost all of this website from scratch, using a simple text editor. YES, I HAVE POTENTIAL. I just don't do the work. What's going to become of me and my work? Will I go down like Rusky Rusk with social media accounts taken down and my website be torn down? I don't want this to happen. I would prefer if I could function like an adult/child who has the motivation to get their work done.

Now you may be thinking,

| Matthew, medication can get you there. So what if there's side effects? You've had a life that other people cannot have, and a life that others would kill for, so why are you complaining?

I wish I could live the life I live and help others too. I don't know how I'm going to turn out one day, how my taxes are going to be calculated (and granted LOTS of people don't know), I cannot prove that God is real (and if he is, then that's a good thing for me), and I cannot predict what my mindset will turn out like when I get my electronics back. I don't know if I'm going to want to hang out on my personal laptop all day on social media or do my homework first.

I don't get to hang out with smart and motivated students in their Pre-AP classes. I don't want to be known as one of them, the kids who goof off in class and don't do anything.

I don't need to be like this. I don't need to live my life suffering because I don't want to do something. I can become something of myself. I can help others the way I would want to be helped. I can reply to my Compassion sponsors.

I can help for the greater good.

And I'm sitting here in a classroom seat doing nothing other than composing this web log post on a Tuesday noon when I'm supposed to be doing my work.

Please don't feel like you need to sympathize or pity me (even though it is appreciated), because this is my issue and I believe that I can get it resolved. I don't want you (the reader) to feel guilty if you don't want to feel guilty.

That's over with! If you like EDM, I recommend you listen to TheFatRat's TheRatNest April 2012. I can't prove if it's the original or not, but it's got the tracklist.